Monday, May 26, 2014

The Humungus

First appearance: Mad Max II: The Road Warrior (1981)

Max Rockatansky is at it again in the oil deprived future Australia. This time he's helping a group of settlers protect a tanker trailer full of precious gasoline. Max befriends a feral boy and fights a bunch of wasteland marauders led by an hockey mask wearing disfigured muscleman known as The Humungus! Will Max survive?!

This is the movie most people are thinking of when they think of Mad Max. Lots of desert, weird cars, weirder wasteland gangs, more action.

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Red Death

First appearance: The Masque of the Red Death  (1964)

The satanic Prince Prospero has invited a bunch of jerky noblemen to his castle while a horrifying disease lays waste to the surrounding countryside. He plans on converting a bunch of them to Satanism. Over an evening of horrible pranks and vengence Prospero begins to think that maybe putting his faith in the "Father of Lies" isn't the best of ideas.

This is probably my favorite of the Roger Corman Edger Allan Poe/ Vincent Price movies.
Highly recommended. So much fun.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Lou Garou

First apperance: Wolfcop (2014)

It's not unusual for alcoholic cop Lou Garou to black out and wake up in unfamiliar surroundings, but lately things have taken a strange turn. Turns out he might be a werewolf. An alcoholic werewolf. An alcoholic werewolf who's also an officer of the law. Can Lou meld all the aspects in his life a be a better man? Better wolf man?
Who can say....

Monday, May 19, 2014

Texarcana Phantom

First appearance: The Town that Dreaded Sundown (1976)

In 1946 a series of murders which became known as "The Phantom Killings" took place in or near the town of Texarcana. This movie is based on those crimes. The killer was never caught. also there is no proof he killed anyone with a knife attached to a trombone as seen in one of the stranger moments in this movie. Creepy atmosphere accentuates the strangeness of this true story. Made even more terrifying since the killer was never caught.

Stanley Coopersmith

First appearance: Evilspeak (1981)

Young Stanley Coopersmith is hated by the rest of his fellow American Military Academy Soccer players, not to mention the faculty or the rest of the student body. One day while cleaning the basement of the school's chapel, which he's been assigned due to not having his hat or something, he discovers the secret satanic ritual place of the school's founder. Will Stanley turn to black magic to extract revenge on the jerks he deals with on a regular basis? Can you program an old macintosh computer to perform an evil ritual? Are pigs a tool of Satan?
Spoilers, Yes to all three!
Moral of the movie: If the nerd you've decided to pick on has a secret room with a Satanic ritual programmed into his computer, it's probably best not to kill his dog.
Lots of decapitations and Clint Howard, a surprisingly great combination.

Friday, May 9, 2014


First appearance: The Burning (1981)

Some jerky teens at a summer camp decide to play a prank on the mean old cartaker, Cropsy. They wait until he's drunk in his kerosene, turpentine and old newspaper filled cabin and set a skull full of worms and lit candles on this rickety balsa wood night table. They then sneak out side and start banging on the window and making creepy sounds. Cropsy wakes, startled and terrified buy the glowing skull he knocks it on to a gasoline soaked rag setting his place, all his belongings and himself instantly ablaze! What a great prank eh? Cropsy doesn't think so. After years in the hospital he decides to head back to the camp for REVENGE! Hey, he's another burnt up janitor killing teens that he blames for his current predicament... He and Freddy should go to therapy together.

Pretty decent Canadian made slasher from the early '80s. Slightly more effective than most since not all the kids are terrible. Some weird attempts at red herrings considering we already know Cropsy is a disfigured homicidal maniac with a grudge and a fondness for big scissors.
Dig the trailer. And yes that is Seinfeld's best pal George Costanza as one of the doomed teens. Pretend this flick is a prequel to Seinfeld and it becomes even more fun! The production manager's name is Corky Burger, a name I found hilarious the first time I saw it show up in the credits.