Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Jason Voorhees (finally the last one... until the next remake)

First appearance: Friday the 13th (2009)
Hey remember those other 10 movies that Jason was running around killing kids? Yeah, well, None of that happened because we've decided to reboot the series. This one almost plays like a sequel to the original 1980 movie. Not the worst of the movies to feature Jason Voorhees but also not quite the best. One of the few Friday the 13 movies where some of the action actually takes place at Camp Crystal Lake. Might finally be the last Friday the 13th movie.

Jason Voorhees (seriously how many of these are there?)

First appearance (looking like this): Freddy Vs Jason (2003)

Nobody believes in Freddy anymore so he resurrects Jason to kill some teens in Springwood so the teens will blame Freddy. Unfortunately Jason's having too much fun killing kids so Freddy fires him. The kids come up with the great plan of using Jason to fight Freddy. Mayhem ensues.
It took 10 years from the tease at the end of Jason Goes to Hell for this to finally happen.

Jason Voorhees (again)

First appearance (looking like this): Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)

Jason gets blown up and then it turns out he's actually some kind of worm thing that possesses people or something. Also Jason's mom visited a bunch of other horror movie locations when Jason was growing up? (There's a copy of the Noturum De Montos, a mandarin dagger, the box fluffy from creepshow was in...) Yet another adventure of Jason Voorhees that doesn't take place at Camp Crystal Lake.

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Captain Spaulding

First appearance: The House of 1000 Corpses (2003)

Four jerks go on a road trip to find the truth about the mythical serial killer "Dr. Satan." What they find is the horrifying Firefly clan. things don't go well when they offend the Fireflys by not accepting their hospitality. Moral of the story, don't be a jerk.

The Collector

First appearance: The Collector (2009)

Arkin just wants to turn his life around and quit being a a cat burglar. Unfortunately his wife owes some horrible people a lot of money. These horrible people force Arkin to pull one more heist on the people he's currently employed by. Unfortunately for Arkin there's someone else interested in the family...

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Jacob Goodnight

First appearance: See No Evil (2006)

Jacob Goodnight enjoys pulling out eyes.  An unfortunate group of delinquents attempting to turn his stomping ground into a homeless shelter find this out the hard way.

This appearance: See No Evil 2 (2014)

Turns out you just can't keep a Goodnight down. Jacob gets up to his old shenanigans with a new look, this time at an undertaker's birthday party at the city morgue!

Beach Ball with Claws

First appearance: Dark Star (1974)

Follow the mission of the crew of the planetary demolition space ship Dark Star.
John Carpenter's first feature film written by Dan O'Bannon (who also stars).
If it wasn't for this movie we wouldn't have Alien, Red Dwarf, or that cool stretchy star field thing we see in Star Wars when they activate their Hyper Drives.

Monday, February 6, 2017


First appearance: Highway to Hell (1991)

Charlie and his girlfriend don't listen to the warnings of a creepy guy at a gas station and end up running afoul of the HELL COP. Hell Cop kidnaps Charlie's girl. Charlie goes to hell to find his girlfriend. Charlie has a nice adventure through hell encountering a bunch of colourful characters.
Will he be able to find his girlfriend? Can he escape hell?